I'm really trying to say
so much more than just those three little words;
I'm trying to express so many
wonderful feelings about you.
I'm trying to say that you mean more to me
than anyone else in the world
I'm trying to let you know that I adore you
and that I cherish the time we spend together.
I'm trying to explain that
I want you and that I need you
and that I get lost in woderful thoughts
every time I think about you.
And each time I whisper "I love you,"
I'm trying to remind you
that you're the nicest thing
that has ever happened to me.

my dreams 9:53 PM

No one ever touched my life this. No one in all the seasons of sweetness and sadness and everything in between. No one ever came so close to being the coming true if this gentle and wonderful dream. No one else knew the way to all the warmth within my heart, and yet... you just seem to naturally know not only how to go there, but how much I want you to stay. I am in love with you because you make me sing and dance and smile and celebrate and hope... and believe. I love you because no one ever did what you do... It would bring me more joy than I can say if you would never forget ~not even for a single day~ how wonderful you are... in my eyes and in my heart. I'm so often at a loss to find the words to tell you how much you mean to me. In my imagination, I compare you with things like the sunshine in my mornings, the most beautiful flowers in the fields, and the happiness I feel on the best days of all. You're like the answer to a special prayer. And I think God knew that my world needed someone exactly like you. I love you ery much Sandy...

my dreams 9:43 PM



Getting over a relationship is an experience most
of us have to go through at some point in life.
These are the steps as follows:

1. Allow yourself to grieve over the loss.
Grieving includes going through feelings such as
sadness, anger, shock and acceptance.

2. Take any pressure or expectations off
yourself to get over it quickly. Depending on the
length of the relationship or how important it was
to you, you may need weeks, months or longer to
get over it.

3. Take care of yourself. Get adequate rest,
eat right and get some exercise.

4. Nurture yourself. Give yourself
permission to relax, take it easy, and do whatever
makes you feel better - such as taking walks,
baths or naps; listening to music; reading; or
watching movies.

5. Plan pleasurable activities with friends
or family ahead of time (especially on weekends)
to keep you busy and get your mind off the loss.

6. Consider joining a support group to be
with others dealing with similar feelings. Ask
your doctor for a referral.

7. Talk to your doctor about possibly taking
medication if you're having trouble sleeping, or
if you're experiencing anxiety or depression. Or
discuss the options of herbal supplements such as
St. John's wort (for depression) or kava kava (for
anxiety).

8. Get a journal and write down what you have
learned from the relationship about yourself,
relationships and life.

Tips: If the relationship was very
significant for you, you may never get over it in
the sense of having no residual feelings about it.
Over time, the feelings will become less intense
and you will be able to think about the
relationship without it being so painful.

my dreams 1:22 PM



Sperm Education - A new twist on an old joke

The newly born sperm was receiving instructions in
conception from the instructor.

"As soon as you hear the siren, run for the tunnel
and swim in a straight line until you get to the
entrance of a damp cavern. At the end of the
cavern you will find a red, sticky ball which is the
egg.

Address it and say, "I'm a Sperm." She will
answer, I'm the Egg." From that moment on you
will work together to create the embryo. Do you
understand?"

The sperm nodded affirmatively and the instructor
said, "Then, good luck!"

Two days later, the sperm is taking a nap when he
hears the siren. He wakes up immediately and
runs to the tunnel.

A multitude of sperm swim behind him. He knows
he has to arrive first. When he nears the entrance
to the cavern, he looks back and sees that he is
far ahead of the other sperm.

He is able to swim at a slower pace but does
approach
the red, sticky ball.

When, at last, he reaches the red, sticky ball, he
smiles and says, "Hi, I'm a sperm."

The red sticky ball smiles and says, "Hi. I'm a
tonsil."

my dreams 1:20 PM



Little Nancy was in the garder filling a
hole when her neighbor peered over the fence.


Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster
was doing, he politely asked, "What are you up
to there, Nancy?" "My goldfish died," replied by
Nancy tearfully, without looking up," and I've just
burried him.

" The neighbor was concerned, "That's an awfully
big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"

Nancy patted down the last heap of earth then
replied, "That's because he's inside your f@#king
cat."

my dreams 1:18 PM



A prisoner escapes from his prison where he had been kept for 15 years.As he runs away, he finds a house and breaks into it looking for money but he finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed, ties him up on a chair. While tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her on the neck, then gets up, and goes to the bathroom.

While he is in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen", this guy is an escaped prisoner, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in prison, and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your
neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't
complain, just do what he tells you, give him satisfaction. This guy must be dangerous, if he gets angry, he will kill us. Be strong, honey. "I love you"

To which the wife responds, "He was not kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay and found you very sexy, and asked if we kept any Vaseline in the bathroom. Be strong, honey. "I love you too"

my dreams 12:05 PM

 

that cute girl with me is my cousin Marjory dela Cruz...

she is celebrating her 19th birthday today but

unluckily she can't spend it with us since

she is in Quezon Province doing some

important stuff...

happy birthday gurl!

hope to see you soon before i'm

gonna fly for Cebu City...

miss yah already...

my dreams 9:51 AM

hi there!

if you have some time you can pay

a visit to my photo site:

http://photobucket.com/albums/y193/jhoanneh/
visitor's password: nining

 

 

my dreams 4:26 PM



This is a test post from Photobucket.com

my dreams 3:37 PM



Just now Im with Sandy, still enjoying our limited times together. He arrived so late this afternoon but its okay with me as long as he made it. I dont know what is wrong with me but I really feel so sad this afternoon and he even noticed the sadness in me. Just the other day while we are talking, I told him that I have a weird feeling that I’m going to die soon, he just give me a keen look and told me not to mention such topic again especially when we are together.

So then, this afternoon this bizarre feeling really envelops me, Im not even in the mood to talk to him, I merely laugh to his corny jokes and I think Im going to cry. He often asks me if I am alright and what is wrong with me. He even asks me what is bothering me. I just told him nothing and that Im very fine.

But deep inside me, my heart is crying in pain. I have now realized why I felt that way, why I thought Im going to die soon. It is the thought of not being with him is killing me and it was too hurting. I want to open this up to him but I just cant.

As I lay down in bed, with him at my side, telling me how much he loves me makes me sobbed in silence. It was so painful. While he is asleep, I cant help it but cry because deep within me I know that those beautiful days with him will going to end soon. I love him so much to the point that Id rather die than live life in the absence of his love.

my dreams 11:38 PM



I am still counting the days left for the two of us. I am planning to make the remaining days to be perfect with him. Maybe adding more time for our little chats, enduring the time that we are still together. I am not blind, I can feel how much he tries to make things out, how much he tries to give me his full time whenever he is free, though I know how pressured he is now in his upcoming board exam.

It is 1:20 am now, I can’t sleep, and Sandy is here with me. Yes, we are together and I really appreciate it. Nevertheless, it would be a lot better if he is awake and we can talk longer, isn’t? I am watching him now sleeping in my bed, not knowing what I really feel now. Sadness lures me. I wish I could tell him how much I hate it every time he fell asleep while we are talking. I know he is tired from the review center and the pressure at school but I cannot help it. If only I could stop him every time he yawns and slowly fell asleep in my lap. I often try to wake him up, though not really trying hard.

So, is it too much to ask him to spend more time with me? I mean more time talking with me than sleeping the whole time that we are together. Well, I don’t think so! Sometimes it makes me cry knowing our limited time will be over and it would be very painful especially knowing that some time were wasted because of sleeping.

my dreams 1:35 AM



This is a test post from Photobucket.com

my dreams 10:22 AM



It was said by the elders that just before our mother conceive us God has already planned what would be our life is in this world. God has planned every detail of it, who will be our parents, who will be our brothers and sisters, where to grow up, who will be our friends, and that every problem we stumbled into was part of it. Moreover, that pain is part of His plans, for us to be strong. Therefore, God must have planned it too who will be the person who will gonna to hurt us.

What struck me most is the reality that God is up there, watching me. So why can’t He hear me pleading for His help? Why can’t He help me with my sickness? Why can’t He take this pain away? Everyday I’m blaming God for everything, charging Him for ignoring me and accusing for not loving me. I was then very upset to Him because I thought that He doesn’t love me at all and that He plays deaf when it comes to me.

I often talked to Him though a part of me believe that He wasn’t listening at all, telling Him how I feel, letting Him feel the grief I feel inside. I told Him that I always pray for Him and that I didn’t fail to remember Him once in a while. I pray to Him everyday for graces, health and happiness but why does when it comes to me it’s hard for Him to hear me?

So then, I stop talking to Him, not writing stuff in my diary. I stop questioning Him of my endless why. I just leave it that way. And thought of why wasting my time talking to a God that I’m not even sure that it really exists anyway.

It was one boring afternoon, I was dusting my bookshelves and a book caught my attention, a part of me recognize that it was a bible, but then a part of me is curious of what shall I gonna find in there. So I pick up the bible take a quick look and presto! My eyes landed on a passage that says, “12Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you. 13But rejoice, in as much as ye are partakers of Christ’s sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.”

So then, I fell in the floor and sat for a couple of minutes trying to pull myself up to the reality that I have realized. I sobbed and cried for so long, shameful for what I have said and done to Him. After reflecting, I have decided to talk to Him again and ask for forgiveness. And that I was just being so blinded by the tests that He gives me. And I am so sorry for being so insensitive and for the uncertainty to His love to me.

God never fails to watch us. He never sleeps. He always make sure that everything He gives us is just enough for us and that he won’t give us a burden we solve and if He entrusts us a very big problem, we must be pleased and thank Him, that God believes that we can solve it. So instead of blaming God, we must take that problem as a compliment from Him… Isn’t much nicer?

my dreams 6:43 PM



The balik bayan boxes Im going to use has arrive, it came from the Donn, ill use it for my stuff like my books, magazines and for my pc...
Packing my things wasnt hard really but the thought of living Makati and go home was really hard for me especially knowing im going to left my heart here. People may think I’m exaggerating and that I’m just feeling it now but later im going to forget this feeling and i'll live normally in Cebu City...but I don’t think so. I love him that much...and I dont know what will happen to us, to our relationship after this long distance relationship.
It will gonna be a stiff life for me...I am go to work there... communicate Sandy through phone and chat. I dont if it will going to work for us...but we will try...well maybe...if fate wont interfere and she'll go along with us. Life is so damn unfair.

my dreams 12:23 PM



I thought all along that life would be better now...now that i've finally met the other part of me, and that is Sandy. But i dont know why it should be like this, why we need to be apart. Everything seems to be perfect, well i think all lovers think that way every time they're together, but i was wrong. Fate interfered.
We had a very nice time together, we talked a lot, talking of endless nonsense chit-chat. He sings for me eventhough he doesn't really know the lyrics and end up mumbling the song. He makes me laugh with his corny jokes. We dream together and plan our future. It was really perfect.
Then, a problem came...and i have to bid goodbye. It wasn't that easy, it took me a lot of nights crying over it. But it didn't help me at all. So i have to accept it and go with it. Sandy promises me to get me as soon as he will pass his board exam (well im sure he will passed since he is so smart) and got a stable job. Shameful, but im hoping he won't forget his promise. He asks me to wait for him in Cebu for at least two years for him to be stable and we'll soon get married. I do hope so.
It's already April 21 and this weekend will be hardest thing i'll gonna do in my entire life. Step on the airplane and watch my heart turn into pieces as i lay my eyes to my love i will left behind.

my dreams 11:45 PM



SANTA BARBARA, CA-During a search for evidence at the Neverland Valley Ranch, investigators discovered a corpse that has been identified as that of Michael Jackson, Santa Barbara police officials announced Tuesday.
"Coroners have officially pronounced Michael Jackson dead. From what we can tell, he died between 18 and 20 years ago," forensic investigator Tim Holbrooke said. "We are not certain, at this time, who-or what-has been standing trial in that Santa Maria courthouse."

According to Holbrooke, Jackson's corpse was buried just inches below a stretch of the miniature-train tracks that run throughout Neverland. The largely desiccated corpse wore the remains of a red, zipper-covered leather jacket and a single glove.

"We positively identified the body as Jackson by his dental records and DNA," Holbrooke said. "But even before we conducted a single forensic test, we began to suspect that that we'd uncovered the real Michael, and that the disturbing figure claiming to be Jackson was a fake."

Holbrooke said that, although the corpse was in an advanced stage of decomposition, when investigators compared the body to early-career publicity photos of Jackson, they saw a striking resemblance in bone structure and facial features. But when they compared the body to photos taken after 1987, the resemblance was negligible.

"This discovery raises a lot of questions, but it also sheds light on a number of disturbing incidents," Holbrooke said. "Frankly, Jackson had been acting pretty strange."

Forensic experts and music critics are postulating that Jackson was dead before the release of the multi-platinum album Bad. Detectives are currently analyzing the lyrics to "Man In The Mirror" for any clues relating to a look-alike entity that many suspect murdered the youngest member of the Jackson 5 and assumed his identity.

"We believe that Neverland served as some sort of freakishly whimsical tomb constructed by Jackson's killer," Holbrooke said. "We also suspect that all of the iniquities that occurred on that ranch were the work of the imposter. I wouldn't have ever thought it possible, but we are looking at a situation where the sexual abuse of a 13-year-old cancer patient is the tip of the iceberg."

Holbrooke said that, while the living Jackson is the leading suspect in the murder investigation, he "could be another victim of some sort."

"Basically, we have no idea what type of creature we are dealing with," Holbrooke said.

A member of the investigative team that discovered Jackson's body described the experience as "otherworldly."

"As we neared the perimeter of Neverland, the dogs started whining and howling like crazy," Santa Barbara County detective Frank Poeller said. "We had to pull them into the house. When we got to Jackson's bedroom, one of them almost choked himself to death on his leash trying to get out through the window. Minutes later, the same dog led us to the corpse."

A representative from Jackson's self-created label, MJJ Productions, said he was not surprised to find out that the current Jackson is an imposter.

"When we were recording 'Heal The World' for Dangerous, I could tell something was terribly, terribly wrong," MJJ manager Luke Allard said. "Michael didn't seem like himself anymore. He'd demand bizarre food and sit for hours in a hyperbaric chamber. His appearance began to become more and more peculiar. Soon afterwards, he started wearing a mask and confiding in a chimpanzee."

"I remember thinking, 'This man has become a monster,'" Allard said. "If only I'd known how right I was."

Allard said he thinks that the imposter broke ties with Jackson's former friends and surrounded himself with children who were too young to notice the radical change.

Vanity Fair reporter Beth Pither visited Neverland in 1994.

"A strangely fearful staff member led me to Jackson, but ran off before I opened the door," Pither said. "Standing there with my hand on an ice-cold doorknob, I heard strange, unnatural sounds-leathery wings flapping, a sorrowful wail, and loud hissing. A wave of dread passed through me as I opened the door, but all I found was Michael and some kids in pajamas eating ice cream and watching 101 Dalmatians."

While their claims have not been corroborated, other Neverland visitors have reported that when when Jackson entered a room, lights flickered, faucets ran blood-red, and screams escaped from the walls.

To aid in the investigation, the FBI enlisted Dr. Richard Weingarden, a noted expert on the paranormal from UC Santa Barbara. After only two hours, Weingarden abandoned the project.

"The smell of sulfur, the decaying facial features, the bizarrely high-pitched voice-it sounds exactly like..." Weingarden said, trailing off. "I'm sure it's nothing. Not a big deal. Nothing to be terrified about, certainly. I have to go. I've got a family."

Thomas Sneddon, the prosecutor in Jackson's child-molestation lawsuit, said it remains to be seen how the shocking discovery will affect the trial.

Megan Gustafson, who left her post as president of the Akron, OH Michael Jackson Fan Club after the singer was accused of molestation, offered a positive view of the grisly revelation.

"This is very disturbing news," Gustafson said. "But to be honest, it's kind of a relief too. Thriller and Off The Wall are really amazing records. Now I can pull them out of my 'ruined by child abuse' storage bin and start listening to them again."

my dreams 9:30 AM




getting my figure back in shape...haven't make it for so long
jOAm

my dreams 9:17 AM



Well here I am again sitting comfortably in front of my computer and got nothing to do but type some words that i really don't know. I have been mumbling all this time since I haven’t go to sleep since last night. My head is spinning and cant get over of this dizziness. dah! I badly need some sleep really. This damn insomnia is troubling me again. Well im haven’t used to it since it hasn’t visited me for a long time now. Well what should I expect? Its vacation time, it sure bores me up. I really want to take some vacation, maybe a week stay in Cebu with my family or just a weekend camp somewhere south. Chilling up with Sandy! Why not? hehehehe...oh god its already 12:10 in the afternoon and I’m still very much awake...what should I do? While making this note, I am texting with sandy, I miss him though we are together yesterday...honestly I really want to see him more often. This guys really is something, you know what I mean right? Well, he’s always in my mind, yah literally always! Oh, god I might be so pathetic! But I love him very much.
Well things change now...

my dreams 12:16 AM