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jhoanneh
Tidbits
Joan Ponsica
22 years old
Santa Isabel College


sweet talks
scrapbooking!br> writing & blogging
reading books of danny brown and bob ong
browsing the net
writing stuff and this
playing scrabble...hehehe
take a nap
chatting with friends
go out with sandy
eating

Dar Links

chic and pretty
friendster
delicious ambiguity


Sincere Thanks

image
layout
photo
title motion
Brushes:DayDreamed



Memories
April 2005
 October 2005
 November 2005
 December 2005
 January 2006
 February 2006
 May 2006
 June 2006
 July 2006
 August 2006
 September 2006

Loathes

when im craving for sweets and cant find one
irritated with sandy
riding the PUJ
irate clients
dumb-founded
traffic in EDSA
>

Playing Now

my favourite songs


life with dreams: Friday, April 22, 2005

It was said by the elders that just before our mother conceive us God has already planned what would be our life is in this world. God has planned every detail of it, who will be our parents, who will be our brothers and sisters, where to grow up, who will be our friends, and that every problem we stumbled into was part of it. Moreover, that pain is part of His plans, for us to be strong. Therefore, God must have planned it too who will be the person who will gonna to hurt us.

What struck me most is the reality that God is up there, watching me. So why can’t He hear me pleading for His help? Why can’t He help me with my sickness? Why can’t He take this pain away? Everyday I’m blaming God for everything, charging Him for ignoring me and accusing for not loving me. I was then very upset to Him because I thought that He doesn’t love me at all and that He plays deaf when it comes to me.

I often talked to Him though a part of me believe that He wasn’t listening at all, telling Him how I feel, letting Him feel the grief I feel inside. I told Him that I always pray for Him and that I didn’t fail to remember Him once in a while. I pray to Him everyday for graces, health and happiness but why does when it comes to me it’s hard for Him to hear me?

So then, I stop talking to Him, not writing stuff in my diary. I stop questioning Him of my endless why. I just leave it that way. And thought of why wasting my time talking to a God that I’m not even sure that it really exists anyway.

It was one boring afternoon, I was dusting my bookshelves and a book caught my attention, a part of me recognize that it was a bible, but then a part of me is curious of what shall I gonna find in there. So I pick up the bible take a quick look and presto! My eyes landed on a passage that says, “12Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you. 13But rejoice, in as much as ye are partakers of Christ’s sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.”

So then, I fell in the floor and sat for a couple of minutes trying to pull myself up to the reality that I have realized. I sobbed and cried for so long, shameful for what I have said and done to Him. After reflecting, I have decided to talk to Him again and ask for forgiveness. And that I was just being so blinded by the tests that He gives me. And I am so sorry for being so insensitive and for the uncertainty to His love to me.

God never fails to watch us. He never sleeps. He always make sure that everything He gives us is just enough for us and that he won’t give us a burden we solve and if He entrusts us a very big problem, we must be pleased and thank Him, that God believes that we can solve it. So instead of blaming God, we must take that problem as a compliment from Him… Isn’t much nicer?


my dreams 6:43 PM